Merry Christmas to all Christmas Tree Shoppers...
So the holidays are great. Lights, gifts, holiday cheer/spirit, and of course the infamous iconic Christmas Tree. If you have ever had the joy (painful experience) of buying a real Christmas Tree then the following experience will be sure to hit home with you.
My beautiful wife Alexa and I usually love to put up the tree and decorate with lots of inside/outside lights and tons of cutesy ornaments, but this year we have been so busy with other joyous events (I.e. attempting to buy a house) and the usual end of the year hooplah, that we thought about foregoing the tree and lights. Now if you are married and your wife tells you its no big deal, than you better do the exact opposite. Now I'm smart (learned my lesson) enough to know that I need to get a tree.
I have only had 1 real Christmas Tree before in my life and that time my beautiful wife brought it home. I had no idea what I was in for.
I carefully planned my move to surprise Alexa by purchasing a tree on Black Friday while she worked and get it ready for decorating that evening. All was going to plan and I was ready to buy the tree and become a Christmas hero. I set off to the tree lot ready to do battle. I knew that the insanely cost of a Christmas tree can be "talked down" in price and knowing that I'm the world's easiest sale had me nervous but aware of my surroundings. My pulse pounding and my sales/poker face ready I arrived at the "Lot." I entered into the cheery tree filed space and found the tree. It was the tree that you see in movies, perfect in every way ready to help me achieve my dream of Christmas Hero. I was in awe envisioning my glorious achievement and then he showed up... let the vultures descend. I had to haggle with the guy to finally end up deciding on a price that wouldn't put me in the poor house. He then offered to tie down the tree on my car roof. He had me get inside and tied down the tree chuckling a little and when finished shook my hand and said "merry Christmas." I drove home at a painstakingly slow speed of 35mph in a 50mph. I had to crank the radio to avoid hearing honks and insults. Once finally home I attempted to open my car door and was shocked to find that the doors wouldn't open as the tree guy had tied the rope around the doors effectively leaving me trapped in my car. Never being a boy scout but loving watching Macguyver as a kid came in handy. I grabbed my keys and after only twenty minutes of sawing thru the rope I was able to free myself with only a couple cuts on my fingers and a bruised ego.
I'm so glad I didn't tip the guy... Bastard...
But after all is said and done Alexa came home later that evening, walked thru the front door and was shocked. She even started crying tears of joy. Score. I got brownie points. So moral of the story, treat your wife the best you can and you will relish in the bliss of the old saying "happy wife, happy life."
Merry Christmas and to all and to all a good night.
Love,
Tommy
